Fucking screwed up
A Ball of negative pressure has been rolling all over me these few days.I was so screwed up with things around me.Those what i regard as friend .I really try hard doing those but it just don't fucking work.I am not saying that i done it perfectly,yet not in a bad way I believe.Frankly speaking,I deserve some "feel good factors" from the the things done.I am not writing to blame anyone on anything.I wonder if i am the one that get misunderstood all single second or I was just horrible as they see.I try to self - assess myself .Like i am stepping outside me to see what am "I" doing.Just as watching the mirror image of me to get the perception of it.I just don't fucking figure how it end up to be something negative to some other.
I swear things i done comes from bottom of my heart whether you believe or not.Perhaps you people just doubt if peoples will really do someone a favor/do things on behalf of oneself, without asking something back.But that exactly me.It sounds stupid to you just because you don't believe it .Doesn't mean it is something bad indeed.You don't have to appreciate of it as i didn't do for a good words back.I just feel frustrated you are bad mouthing these on me.Is that being harsh and cold to others is what you really comprehend and respect? Or is it the only rule living here ?It just don't fair at all when someone doing nothing and being selfish/ignorant gets far more than i deserved.Sometimes it happens to me that I have to triple the effort in case it will same as what others get using lousy effort.I just feel trashed.How can I be motivated then ?
I swear things i done comes from bottom of my heart whether you believe or not.Perhaps you people just doubt if peoples will really do someone a favor/do things on behalf of oneself, without asking something back.But that exactly me.It sounds stupid to you just because you don't believe it .Doesn't mean it is something bad indeed.You don't have to appreciate of it as i didn't do for a good words back.I just feel frustrated you are bad mouthing these on me.Is that being harsh and cold to others is what you really comprehend and respect? Or is it the only rule living here ?It just don't fair at all when someone doing nothing and being selfish/ignorant gets far more than i deserved.Sometimes it happens to me that I have to triple the effort in case it will same as what others get using lousy effort.I just feel trashed.How can I be motivated then ?
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on Wednesday, August 22, 2007 at 7:35 PM.
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