Back in the rooms at around 6 am in the morning after a long night drinking and dancing. I just realize that our bags has been messed up and broken glasses is all over. I just realize that someone just broke into the rooms from the cast iron roof. I am wondering how they can do that when it is sealed tight and there gonna be loud sound doing that. Losing stuff is bad but not that bad .It just physical stuff which shouldn't take the whole in your mind. That’s what I telling myself for sure and I really think that. I just think of a total shock like your secure and privacy can be taken by someone in any minutes. The witness just told that there is a group of Chinese guys sitting all over the stones watching us for feel days. I just though they probably that they just come to some places ,take and return home .So there is not track for them. Yet, I still thank god that we are not in the rooms at that moment when they taking.
Heading back to Nuanthip pier,It was a total exhaust on the boat way back to there after all those fight and flight situation. It took almost all energy of mine. I still wondering if I can meet Paurenna over there this time. Shakirah was heading back to BKK. She look like all in hurry. I don't think we will meet again after she leave me there .Even though she mention about e-mail me her plan that evening so that I can join after meeting Paurenna in Rayong. I really think that she get a plan with Andrew and she will have her private moment.
It is quite hard for make this meeting work. Since I don't have my phone working with me .I just wonder if Paurenna get into the wrong place and she ain't get any numbers contact me. Eventually she just be there after half hours driving from Rayong. It is an unbelievably excitement just to see her faces again. The person I have been always wondering how she is going ,What is she doing on the side of the corner on the world. Too much questioning ,wondering and waiting are the words to sum up this relationship within us, I would say .I believe there is something in the world you couldn’t apply general/ordinary mind regard to them. There is gotta be another rule to work things out. She is just a example for that. And I would never blame on that any little. I just do it on my own. No one ever ask me to do it this way. And I didn't let anyone know what I am doing and why .It is just something I wanna do. Because i think this is my stuff .It is hard time when those days she is totally disappear. Sometimes I though to myself that it is over but on the next second’s .She just show up and all those memory and feel good factors rush back vigorously. This is the first in my life that I obtain this feeling. It's extraordinary, powerful and deeply impact or addicted. Whatever it can means .I can't find words so far.
Anyway, it is too skinny this time of her but she still got those lovely smiling faces on. I don't feel well watching that just because these appearances must be something related with her long terms medication. Once I hop in the car. She hand me over a gift for the New Year. No one really did that to me really. I don't really count on what it is for present. I just can feel she really mean to do that together with the words she wrote .A really good time for the years and blessing from her heart. I can feel it when she tell me to open it and explain why she pick that and for what purpose. Those Thai books and pink T-Shirt let me be the one of them and love their kings as others. Chocolate is for the joy having it. That herb tea is for a good sleep for the sleepless me. She knows my situation after the burglary .A mobile without battery, the bag being cut. She was serious to make things up for me .She keep asking mom on phone for looking for a bag that i could switch in home and check for any charger home. When she is driving me back to her home .I can see the face when she talk and the tones she is asking mom .I can tell how real it is.
Sometimes it is good to be invited to someone's home. And you know where your friend are grow up in and how is the neighbourhood. Their room is part of the schools since her mom is a teacher. The room inside is traditional. A lot of worship desk inside the home and some machine for making clothes in the living room. Her mom just looks at the cut in my bag to see if it can be sealed up. Having a lot to catch up with her in the afternoon. Some cake and Thai food in a restaurant built in backyard somewhere. I think I learn a lot more from her this time. She is telling me that she will move away from Rayong soon. She is not going to live in somewhere near factory. That’s why she always like invisible because she has all the times prepare for the coming job, all the doctor check up and moving stuff and following up those renovation progress.
You know, I just feel so good when we are just doing simple things as this .It is huge for me really .I am always look for this and thanks god u give this feeling to me all .I like those walking over to the city..Some art gallery, fresh market .Thanks for let me seeing the everydays' life of you. Especially you don't have a lot more energy than before and you get to take me there and there. Together with the daily routine. I can see your look tired when u driving and get easily distracted. I am just worry if you can do it. I really appreciate with today’s’ meeting with you even we rarely do. I just discover many charms from you from the perfect you. The way you talk, The way you think ,the way you live and preferences or stuff .You are just special. Especially when I see you going to some silk shop for material for self-made clothes .It is just so special taste and she like her traditional and herself the way she are .That's confident what people want to have .
Have to leave in the evening in case I can get a room in Kao San. It really hard to say Goodbye .I can feel the tears in my eyes, when she is telling me that about the progress of her body condition. She maybe better or worse,maybe I can see her more or ....... ,She is in no control .She just saying that she just pretend nothing is happen and try to be a good Buddhist and take care mom and whatever she can last do it. I just can't hold it and I am proud for myself getting you in my life at early ages. Someone as perfect as you .You just takes the first priority in my memory and you are the last thing I will forget in life. I just wish you all the very very best. You make me a perfect day and all my minds are blown up. I am sure what we did today .places we go and all the conversation will me there in my brains which keep me reminiscing. Thanks for restore all my joy and make this day happen
Back to Kao San and get a room at 11pm .Have a drink in the Ooh bar with N'Toy. Don't really happy when all those picture in the afternoon cross my mind.
