Things get distorted here.Gotta look beyond the obvious

This morning come to work with shock.Just walk passed my workmate's desk and see there is a paper on everyone desk which mostly there isn't any of them.Take a look at it.So i ask if i can take a look at it cause i guess that is some kinds of memo at work.Then she reply that "Sure,even you don't read them.You know them the best than anyone". It's a kind of awkward of what she saying and then a look at it.This was my email history and its content.I am pissed and it is surely not funny at all.

Turn out this is my supervisor that hack into my e-mail account and save all the mail record .I don't know why he doing this but i guess he just want to show off to everyone that he is "great" and "capable" as a supervisor.What kind of loser has to prove himself and build up his own confidence in this weird way.There is no way you can go through my personal stuff.I know that yell at him didn't help anything cause he will drag me down to his level to beat me with "his reason".

"Luckily", I am the last victims of his freak act.Probably I am the only one that come to discuss that at his face.Sometimes it so bumped that everyone around just get used to the shit and get used to it as a habit liek a slave.What need to do today is get ready to prepare a resign letter.I don't see any point to work in a place like this anymore.What make me frustrated the most is that in a community like this here.This is not the only one that "doing this shit".They get a lot of savage trick of it to get people feel down.

I am just speechless of what I see and the things around.Is this a stupid place without any fucking sense at all ?

Just have a talk with Pooky on the phone last night and talk about to meet on today’s morning before work. Meet her at the Phloem Chit area ,the CRC tower’s Starbuck for early breakfast. Talk for almost an hour before she need to go meet her colleagues at Thong Lor for some surveying work. We take the same train to there and right away I catch a taxi for heading to Ramkaengpeng University for meeting Praew, my first friend here. Arrive at 10 am without realize she was having the ceremony till noon. Get off the school at its main gate. The school is very big which across lot of the road Junction. Just imagine it take half day to walk along the school boundary That’s it s size. On the taxi , the driver mention the school consist of phrase 1 and 2. I have no idea which phrase is her at. Fortunately, I get off the right place. The area is out of town and most building are above 2-3 story height with many street store along the street. Kind of like city in the late 80’s which hard to see in somewhere else. Check out the stores one by one for some fresh flowers. Catch her up at noon after receiving Joseph’s call. It take a while to locate myself under the big Queen’s portrait , to let them notify me since there is a huge group of people. She and her family are little exhausted since they come early in morning like 5 in the morning. Very nice to see her there and take some picture in her big day. She is just the photogenic one that I meet so far. Although it is quite a short while to be there, just feel real happy for her and to see her family and her bf, Joseph .He is awesome man ! Coagulation for the graduation and well done. Wish you all the best with lots of luck and joy along her in everyday life.


Tonight , are going to attend Gift’s birthday party. So walk around Siam again to check out something and for a last work in the area before leave. Mostly I just feel upset and confused in few days before leaving there every time. It is too good to just leave. I guess many that ever come here and just get a chances to talk with the people in here. They all get impressed and anchor by the mysterious charm the country is living with. The place just get too many things the world is missing and it can only be found in here.


So Jen and her friend need to attend exam and group work until 8 pm. So they catch up later on and get changed and going to RCA. They all look good. especially Jen. So we all stay there until 2 am in the morning. and Jen’s friend coming later on. Bird, Jeffery ,Dorm, Tun etc . Have a good time just to dance there and the music and drink. Have the birthday cake after midnight. Hope gift have her good time here tonight. I guess she has one until she get a call which bring her to total down. She just can’t stop crying. I don’t know what it is about. And I don’t think I can help. Just hope she will be chill in a few minute .All of them around and talk to her to cheer her up On the way back to room .Jen just get totally upset all in sudden and want to go back her bf’s home. There is a little struggle but she insisted to go there. Just feel upset to see the tings happen on her .I know she been in trouble most recent and the negative pressure keep bring her down. That make her the impulsive sadness this night. Just feel sad that she take all the problem all by herself and keep it deep inside and also upset because I know this is the last chances I can see her before leave. Just regret that didn’t have a good chat with her before leave .I want to talk more and know more about her but somehow the chances is ruled out after her bf come and pick her up. Feel uncomfortable to see her cry in her bf’s arm .Whatever, nothing can be done .Just hope the negative things will gone soon off her.


Lost sleep tonight. All the people I see and the good time I have here keep flashing in front my head. Especially after see her cry and upset. I get a sour nose tonight too after thinking all these. Damn !

Wake up at 10 am. A bit late. Visit some temple in the morning. One of the rich culture here. Most of the building here, like school, shop ,food places. There is some tiny Buddha status and little temple on the front or at the back of them. Most people just put their hand up to head doing little bow every time they walk passed that. That’s a good thing they are living with. That’s the reason why people are sincere and humble because of this around them and they won’t forget about this since it is a habit of doing or believing so.

Jum call to see if I can meet in the afternoon in Mo chit. So I decided to meet her at the National stadium where she work there on behalf of the TMB bank there. I get myself there little earlier and some kids are doing choir in the main hall of the stadium. It is like a inter-school event. Meet Jum in another side of the stadium. There get another event there. She work there as a Master of Ceremony. The event there is come from all city in Thailand such as Ayuttaya for instances. The kids are wearing uniform playing traditional Thai music with drum , overhead trumpet and flute. They walk around in the runway and doing different kind of body movement together with the music. Stay there until evening after the shows over. She is going back home to prepare for an early work tomorrow.

Get a appointment with Sprite at EGV for the movie after her work. Haven’t see movie for quite a long while of both of us. So she pick one thriller movie as she say that she like the most. The movie is called “The Fog” .Pop-corn and soft drink for dinner and spend a good evening. Just surprise she offer me a little gift before she take off the train.

Second day on the city. Wake up at 7 am. Just like the feeling to walk in the city this early. People here are really hard-working and energetic. They get up early for everyday life and with a big smile wearing on face even so. Have a appointment with Joyce at 11am as this is her birthday today and she get a day off from school. Walk around the Siam Paragon. The new mall of the city. I think the Siam district can beat any so-called “shopping paradise” elsewhere. You can just walk free there without too many people around you or rushing you. The mall may not be appear too be many block of them in quantity but the spaces is large enough that everyone get their corner to walk along. Besides the big mall .There also get some 2-storey blocks store on the opposite to the road. And they not selling the same things that you can do in mall. That’s why I think it is good walking there .After catching up with her. We just walk from the basement floor with a lot of diverse excellent dining place. They refine most of the usual food (Thai, Japanese, Steak place, French restaurant ,Italian) together with a nice place you can have them. Good to sit and read or talk or whatever you want .People there are not goanna rush you there just in order to do more business with the space there. It feels like they are happy that have you in there and visit there. I don’t know how to describe. Japanese culture can be found here easily and I think that is good too. Lots of restaurant, comic and book place, Japanese style department store.You name it and you can go there. They are adapting the right culture and living philosophy together with the Thai living culture and living philosophy .Which the chemistry with these two reinforced the city even more attractive in another way. We drop by a book shop ,Asia book Co. for an hour. Get a friction from there. Just surprised when I am reading there .The salesperson bring me a herb tea which is very impressive. On the other hand, Joyce is focusing on the Thai novel with a beautiful book cover design. After all that, we are going for lunch at Sizzler. The food there is nice enough and we talk a long there.Just figure there she will leaving to America for her training. Wish her good luck and a lot of joy being there.

After the lunch, we both need more walk for the full-stomach. She has to be back in afternoon for doing work for mother. So we just walk around MBK. Plus I need to get something out there for Jen’s cousin graduation as well. Talking about MBK .It is not a new mall but basically there is like a museum of staff. You can get usual stuff like shirts and clothes but also a lot of the others. Some store are open for the local art producer to draw portrait and selling painting. Leave there with Joyce around 1:30 as I gotta meet Jen at 2 for the ceremony. Take the subway to the Thailand national stadium to pick her sister up from work before heading to the University. There comes their cousin there waiting with his sister from Phuket Island. Stay there for while and then we take bus heading to some places for music CD and back to Gift’s office again and she will drive me and Jen to the Kao San road this evening

Kao san road, I can say is quite a excellent place for budget traveler and people who want music, dance and a good day there. It is quite a long street with the two side surrounding by street food store and club alternatively. Plus tons of characterized guest house and good place for music. Some store there just doing business with hair buddle. There also get some non-music place for someone who just want to eat something and talk there. Both open area and indoor area just to suit the guest preference. So as for tonight, We go to the “Silver” for dinner .Since Jen want to see her guy, Mic who work in there. Jeffery and his friends, Dorm come after us after work. We order quite a few bottle with Thai –whisky. Gift doesn’t feeling quite well today since she eat some left-over KFC chicken in the morning so she just lost all appetite for food and drink. Drink quite a lot today since it is one good evening with the good people and fun around. After a while they decide to mix the whisky with some sauce instead of the soft drink.

Drink a cup of them and it burn the stomach a lot. I puke on the street after this. AS far as I remember, this is the first time that I puke after alcohol I guess. Just feel ridiculous of myself cause it smell bad and there get some puking on my shirts. Damn it! Gotta get some clothes around the area for change. After that they are not drinking anymore . I just feel very sorry to ruin the atmosphere .Things not supposed to be in this way. Sorry guys ! Stay there till midnight and Jeffery take me a ride to my ride!

Didn't sleep after work from last night since I am too excited about the trip this time. Leave at 5 am to the airport and arrived BKK city at 10:15 am. This trip is about to attend a graduation ceremony and to meet a friends Jen which I talk with her for long.

It's too nice for Jen and Jeffery to come pick up since they have class right next to a few couple of hours. Jeffery is a close friend of Jen. Filipino-Thai who born in Israel. He run a little business with friends after school as always .Arrived in ASOKE at around 11:15 am. Talking about hotel here .The country itself is diverse enough .Everyone can get different kind of things in here to suit your favorite with all kinds of welcome from the heart of the people here. For instance like hotel, guest house and motel. While those hotels are built in a standard way in some country else. Each of those here are designed in their own ways .Those high class hotel are decorated with Thai interior design. And for those guest house and motel. The guest can get close related with the hosts. It can be easily the Thai are good at details in life with their taste in life. Each is unique in character which offer a different feeling to everyone who came in. Outside most of the hotels get a little temple and Buddha status. They treat them as part of everyday life no matter what.

Sometimes it is hard to explain why I don’t travel with my friends here no more. Generally speaking, I just don’t want to waste time with them doing the stupid things at the shallowest level. They are just those grumbling people keep bitching that there is no air-con to serve , no fancy hotel or nice stuff for them and say insulting words to the place and people. If that really matter you that much, Don’t bother to come at all .You are not welcome here. No one need you here

Take the motor-taxi to their schools to meet other friends of them.. On the walk to the canteen meet their English teacher and she decided to join for lunch. The lunch is good and they are nice to talk to. I don’t know why whoever you talk there .You can easily get along with them and have fun talk with them. I just love this feeling. Their class start at 1:30 pm. So I guess it is time to leave them focus in class first. Will do a catch up again after 4:30 pm. Within these few hours .Just stop by the Nana area. It is a area with many energetic people there Lots of bar and dining place ,each with unique building outlooks and decoration. There also get lot of roadside stall selling traditional Thai food, fruit ,barbecue food etc. Local Thai craft can also be easily found there. That’s what I adore while in the other city people keep building mall for big name shop ,which replacing their own history and stuff. But in here, things are in balance ,not go in a extreme way .They get modern malls here of course but together they preserve local style store. It may not be fancy as mall. But no one will complain about that just because “they don’t look fancy” enough. They still buy and eat there .Cause all of them are belong to them, they are their everyday life .They don’t care everyone say of that.

There is a tons of city to fall in love with this country. It may not be the most modern one, and I don’t see any reason they need to. A lot of contrast in the city. No doubt , I don’t know all the staff here and all the staff behind .People are nice at the nicest level. Someone ever think it can’t be real because they don’t people can be this nice, But soon they will be proved they are wrong. They get a good soul from bottom. Everyone can feel that even the coldest one. No matter how hard they deny it. Probably just the spare the sour of grapes on behalf of those can’t be like them.The place get a good taste with the colors of the place itself decorate , the smell of the city is the combination of the scent of the road side food store and lot of elements which .All kinds of feeling ,from the things you see ,the smell ,the sound you hear come all together stimulate everyone’s sensation to make them charm so much

Meet Jen again after her class with her classmate Kate and Vi. We all going to Siam for some food. The store fuji is nice cause all the decoration and the atmosphere is nice. too. Good place for eat and talk. They are talking about the stuff happen in school and around their friend. Meet Jen’s sister Gift right after dinner at the Siam Paragon. ME and Jen decided to go the Aquarium in the basement floor while they want to do some shop on the upper-floor. It is a newly-built museum of sea water animal from shellfish to seahorse, different species of fishes .Large size animal like Seal and shark can also be found there. There is a tropical rain forest in the middle floor as well. Just feel like back to mother nature in there. Catch them up again after the museum visiting. They are getting some clothes for the coming Friday party. Leave them at 8 pm cause they wanna get home early.

Decided to walk around before going to the room. Get a call from Oil and ask if I wanna go temple with them at night. They are just around the neighborhood. So meet them in MBK department store and walk to the temples. They just finish the English class and decided to do some praying before go home. I just wait aside while they are praying ,but overheard them praying for me for good luck and say want to be friends again in next life with the words they say. I was just surprised and feel touched from the bottom of the heart. No one ever done this to me before. I am speechless at that moment just keep appreciate the things they do. Keeping thinking of this on the way back home with joy and appreciation.

Have a appointment with Yuri again on the cold morning.Walk around the crowd street for the whole day.This is the last day she will be here.Even it is just normal walking but i bet i have a nice day in the past few months.

The same feeling come arcross my mind again.It just like walking on the familiar place with a person in a unfamiliar nice way.Respectful,nice,warm-hearted etc.She is not the one that give this feeling to me really.I am sure it is becasue where they are come from ,the culture they are having,the lifestyle they are having.Words can only tell the supefical facts only but it failed to describe the feeling the way it is.I thinks can only over-simplify this feeling but once you get a chances to see and feel it.You can tell the difference and you will soon appreciate that.It just like everytime around them.Everythings become cool and you don't care about anything else,you will get the joy even just simply communicating.Things that used to matter wouldn't matter no more.Of course this is just general describing.The feeling is more than the word that can be expressed.Everythings are so remarkable.I thank God that blessing their homeland and preserved this culture and soil for this to go on in a substain way.God Blessing!

Take her to the airport and see her going away.The confused feeling come extremely strong and vigrously.Just like some good things is running away and you can't tell when this is gonna come again.Sometimes i do think to give up of what i believe and treasure to just living in the way people is.Yet,once this feeling (the is someplace/someone else can live life in a different and a happy way) refresh my memory again.It keep boosting my believe again.I think i am speechless for that now.Just recall all my good times in my memory.

BTW,Is there any word that can best described you have a good time at the beginning on the day with a extremely down feeling at the end?I think that's the word that can possibly describe my mind now

Just get a email in the evening from a long - chat friend Yuri.Turn out that she come here few days for few days.Meet her and her aunt to catch up for a while.Again i enjoy the meeting tho.They are all easy going and friendly tho.Much different from the peoples i usually see here everyday life.Probably the most joyful day i get in the past 2 months.Hard to describe how the feeling is like but i feel alive at those moment.