Things get distorted here.Gotta look beyond the obvious

Tanti anguri Buon natale!Tunti baci a una persona speciale comete !

So this is Silent night.What I like of christmas is that it is few days of peaceful days which offering warm feelings from the atmosphere in every corner.Sadly here is no way a religious place in any kind of god.It turn out to be another "good reason" for them to shop or fool around.Frankly speaking ,people like here without any significant faith of life.I don't know what are they celebrate for.From my memory what i see from TV or book reading.It is all about yuletide serenade /christmas carol.People gather in church say a little prayer,singing ,friends gather to share the atmosphere.

It's 2 am in the morning and today is one tough day for me.Get a high fever in yesterday night before work.But i can't even get a sick leave from work as the supervisor turn down the request.why they doing that ?I don't get it!

Haven't get sick for quite a long time.But i find myself getting weaker ever since i start working.Working inside four walls with no window and get a lot of shifting which i think i have yet get used to it.I am not complaining anything but just feel it is cold sometimes as you request something you really need but most of the time you couldn't.

That make me think that there always someone to ruin the stuff for someone that really need it.I see most of the colleage in work get abused for some of the right.Make up some fake document and excuse to get the pay-leave for more holidays.Even think you are idiot if you not doing like this to take advantage.Sometimes it just feel frusturated when you seeing the value is turn upside down.Plus,you can't tell it is wrong even though itself is.People just get used to this shit.Lieing and faking are as natural as breathing like a god damn habit.

The question keep popping up in my head.Should I eiter survive by being one of them and do the same damn stuff in case to live in these kind of culture,or just stand for what you don't believe with a price you have to pay like this!The worst is that it's just a tip of the iceberg.

People always say what kind of enviroment can change oneself.I just don't want it happen on me.Best adjust yourself to fit in or just barely say NO ?

Nothing worth mentioning here for today.Just that get a short chat with Tarn in the evening.It's been a long time that we didn't talk.Things around her is not that good as before.Maybe that's the reason altering her mood these days.It's been a good to chat again.Hope the things will go more easy by the end of this month.

Working night shift get nothing good to offer,but more private time to read some books.Plus,it save great trouble not to listen bullshit from peoples about.COOL!

Remember to keep yourself alive, there is nothing more important than that

Stripped of your ordinary surroundings, your friends, your daily routines, your refrigerator, full of food, your closet full of clothes – with all this taken away, you are forced into direct experience inevitably makes you aware of who it is that is having the experience. That’s not always comfortable, but it is always invigorating ---------- Michael Crichton

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things your didn’t do than the one you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails.

First days of my double days-off.Tidy up all the mess.Get to the rental store for getting the movie "Island" and "seven sins".Nice movie tho.Have a really good theme about this .Not sure as a movie viewer.Do we care about the hidden message of every screen from the movie.What i find it is a powerful agent to direct some coolest ideas .Or we just watch it as a behaviour of star-worship.What i guess the previous point means more to me.The biggest message the Island movie want to bring up is about the freedom of every creature no matter what.

Have a little chat with Paurenna .Turn out that things is not going to well on her most recently.What make me shocked the most is that she mention about she get serious ill. Probably the most serious one i have ever heard from anyone i ever know.IF i get this correctly.It will be healed only if there is transplant from a perfect blood match.Seriously, i don't know what to say about this.Just that her image keep pop up in my brain and just wonder are we just that vulnrable in my blank mind.........................

I just want this feeling to be gone very soon.Nothing really special in work.Just like everywhere.Work is part of the life and itself itsn't bad at all.What's more is that working in this fucking community does has a big difference than the others as i observed.I use to work a borad awhile.Work is just work over there.Definetly not here.You gotta pay effort and time in your work plus the extra effort to deal with those fucking mind games.People like to set you up or frame you to some small thing in case to make themselve look good.Yell at you when the boss is around and complain this and that to something that don't even exist.Make a fuss over insignifant things.You have never understand the fucking chinese minds .They get endless horrible idea for starting the minds games just to make them look good.Make people suffreing and suffering instead of make things better.Make peopel so damn tired and annoyed by these.Shit can happen anytime.I really want to leave and just not do anything for a long ass time. I am so tired not becasue of the work but the fucking people's head here, so malnourished that its practically pointless for me to be alive. Countdown says 10 days. My watch says an Eternity!