Things get distorted here.Gotta look beyond the obvious

This month has been a long and hard time that go along.It's been a month that i break up with a weird girl.I don't blame at the first place.But i swear i didn't do one tiny thing that is bad or lieing.I don't care if we break up with a better reasons.What you do is really hard to comprehend, like you love to hide yourself up.Reject phone calls and not being honest.I don't care if yours is a weird world.But it seems that it can't be get into it.Maybe you never let me get in.But it's funny that why you act totally different when we first meet.I don't believe that you will do that to even friends.Especially i never did nothing bad to you.Not fair enough.I don't like when you say "I want it that way". It's something that insulting yourself when you saying that as you are adults.Alright Iris ?

I might be a horrible person for you.The one that you don't want it, in the way you want it to be.

On another note, this two month "relationship" with you seems to be coming to an end, when all you have is a voice and a text message,plus a lot of hiding and guessing etc etc...to keep ours "relationship" "working", it kind of just fades away.

If someday when you will have another bad relationship.Don't blame no body unless you will look back time on the things you have done in this one.Maybe you will be acknowledge by the facts that you ruin this one by yourself with the unexplainable act you did.I am not saying i am perfect person but i seemingly don't deserve the things you did to me.Note even a friends will deserve any of this.Especially when i didn't do anything bad on you.I try to believe the good side on you and i believe it is temporaily.Time will make me know you are a better person than it look like.Just that I can't keep carrying all of this emotion inside of me towards you if you doesnt really care at all.

There's no escape for you except in someone else
'Cause you've already disappeared within yourself
(The invisible man who's always changing clothes)
It's all about taking the easy way out for youI suppose...

- Elliott Smith

"One feels that one is loved. Feeling is impressed on everything and traverse space. A letter is a spiritual thing; it is a faithful echo of the speaking voice; so much so that finer souls esteem it among the richest treasures of love."

-Pere Goriot, Balzac

With the chances take part in the funeral.I guess it is the last good bye i can make,Kate.It feel like that you don't leave us yet.We can feel you around,probably we attatch with you much before.It still can't be believed that you have gone for far.I guess one day we meet again in heaven.Rest in peace and a forever good bye.

I want to explode and bleed into every part of existence.Every once in a while (and I'm so thankful when this happens), I feel so great, such joy, when my spirit be spread across everything and everyone - to know the possibilities of everything and everyone - to know the potential of love and peace and kindness and joy.

Sometimes if you want to know the truth, sometimes I think God from above just got fed up with it all, and has left humanity all alone to destroy itself - a deserved end to an unlovable race.

I'm so tired these days. All I want to do is sleep, but i can't. The eyes are heavy, my mind is foggy, my hands are shaking.It feels horrible.I just don't want to have half of it.

One thing i always wonder the things i see everyday.Suppose with all the close physical distances we are having with the others,physically crowd.But it make me feel distance .They are way too far and cold.It just happen in reverse order with what i see out here!

Dear Kate,I still can't believe what i hear from news today.That fire accident outbreak in somewhere you live.When i go into the news detail.The police say that the fire is started with intention.I was shocked that it is a murder that a mother commited to take her daughters's life.It's shocking a tragedy like this and you are the victims of this.

I am terribly upset I lost a friend this way.Someone so young and nice like you,who should deserve a love from family,but not a psycho mum and burn to death.What make me most upset is that those fucking newspaper did post your picture with all the blood.I wonder if they know how to respect someone who is dead.I just think those "journalist" forget what the ethics is.

I regret that i didn't notice you have a bad time in home.You should come to me to talk whenever you wanna.I always remember how you being a good friend of mine always,the things you used to talk,your smile and anything.I am sure you receive love and care from the god above and you will watching us from above.You are symbolistic as happiness and a smily faces all the time.I miss you Kate and thanks god for the fortune he give just to know you .

May you reset in peace ............. Best Regards